Monday, November 30, 2009

Flea Market Madness

My parents were so hardcore about our trips to the Flea Market when I was a child that we would go every single weekend to sniff out the deals. We would go to church on Sunday morning and take a change of clothes with us to change into after church. We would get better prices if we didn't show up at the Flea Market looking our Sunday best. Looking back on the weekly tradition, I can now applaud my Mom for being such an amazing strategist.

Let me tell you though, I didn't enjoy these trips to the Flea Market. I wanted to go to the mall instead. I felt embarrassed to be shopping for second hand items. There was only one thing that made it worth my time. My father would give me $1 and I would buy these "Pop Pop Snappers" and chase my dad around the isles throwing delicious little bags of annoyance at his feet. He would get so mad at me as they would pop around him. It was awesome. as an adult, I can admit that I love going to the Flea Market. I am obsessed with all things vintage. I love the smell of an old dusty attic as I rummage through some old Ladie's junk. I love the thrill of finding something gloriously old and then haggling down the price.

We went to the ever so lovely J and J Flea Market over the holiday weekend. This place is a redneck paradise but if you take the time to hunt, you can find some fantastic treasures. I scouted out a few really cool vintage finds.

I found these cute Blossom snack sets that I'm going to give to my sister-in-law for Christmas. They are so retro that I fantasize about throwing a luncheon in honor of these dishes before I give them to her. I'd serve little finger sandwiches and float around the house in a vintage apron. I got two boxes full of these plates and cups for $10. SCORE!

I also found this dreamy 1939 Ship Menu that I'm going to give to my husband for Christmas. The scan does not do it justice. When Roger was a child, he had this fantastically flamboyant Uncle that would take him to Antique Malls. I believe that by spending countless hours surrounded by Antiques at such a young age, my husband grew up to become what I like to call a Renaissance Man. He has impeccable taste in art, furniture, nick knacks, and anything else you may find that is old and dusty. When I saw this menu I found it to be terribly romantic. I think that he will perch it proudly on our wall.

My heart almost skipped a beat when I saw two packs of this vintage "Mr. Holiday" wrapping paper. It was still in the original Hallmark packaging and is dated 1965. Pretty swank, huh?

I collect old magazines. It's so much fun to read the articles and look at the ads. I usually try to only by magazines from the 1950's (hands down my favorite era...hence all of the scanned 50's images on my Blog) but I just couldn't pass up this August 1935 American Magazine. I should have several hours worth of scanning ahead of me from the amazing ads in this issue.

So, there you have it. I'd say that it was a banner day at ye olde Flea Market.
I know that I must make my parents proud!

Winner: Sweet Revenge Edition

We have a winner for Freakshow Friday. This week's photo was near and dear to my heart because we made sweet revenge for one of my favorite readers. They supplied the photo and we supplied the snarky comments. That nasty lady had it coming! My non biased best friend was the judge this week. Here are the top 3 in no particular order...

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom
"C'mon Seabiscuit, there's a two for one sale on
feminine hygeine products down at the
Walmart and let's be honest, we can't get there fast enough."

"I see Butch...but where's the SunDance Kid?"


"At the Blind-Deaf rodeo, the organizers can save a
lot of money by not trucking in live animals."

The winner is...


"I see Butch...but where's the SunDance Kid?"

Daffy is the snarkiest Blogger in all the land!!!!
Now head on over and admire
this awesome award she just received!

This week has inspired me...if any of you out there need to get revenge on an unruly friend, coworker, in-law, husband, etc., simply e-mail me a picture of them and I will unleash my readers on them for another instalment of Freakshow Friday. The picture has to be entertaining though. I don't want to post a picture of some dude sitting at his desk and smiling. Get creative and you might just see your enemy get what they deserve!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Freakshow Friday: Sweet revenge edition

It's time for another instalment of Freakshow Friday. Where I challenge my readers to come up with a funny caption or story for a photo. We are doing things a little different today though. I recently received an e-mail from one of my favorite readers. They sent me a photo and asked me if I would mind using it for Freakshow Friday. Apparently, it was a photograph and of an evil woman that this reader could not stand. How could I pass up an opportunity to facilitate such sweet revenge? Without further ado, I present to you, the nastiest woman on the planet!

Andy really knows how to put out the vibe
to all the single ladies at the ranch.

So, let's really make this worth our time here. Come up with the snarkiest caption that you can.
The winner will be selected by my bestest friend Erin.
Just to shake things up a bit I made a
brand new award for the winner this week.

Pretty fancy, huh?

The winner will be announced on Monday.
Simply post your snarky caption or story
in my comment section.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Stranger Danger

We were checking out at the grocery store and G was so proud to hand his allowance off to the check out lady. He had saved ten dollars and was there to spend it. In his little hands, he clutched a Tom and Jerry DVD with excitement. The bag boy leaned down and very politely asked him about the DVD. He was really so nice to take the time to place a sticker on my son's shirt and mess up his hair a bit while calling him "Sport". Then it happened, my sweet innocent son said "Would you like to come over and watch this DVD with me? We live at __________." He actually gave the man our address.

Fast forward two days. We're at McDonald's on the playground. My son has found two little boys to play with. They are running up and down the slide and having a great time together. When it's time to go, the mom of the other children is helping her kids put on their shoes. My son walks up and says "Can they come over for a play date? Our address is ________"

That's it! My heart pounds as I scoop him up and try to explain to this innocent soul that he is not allowed to tell people our address ever again. He looks confused.

You can bet your sweet ass that I ordered a "Safe Side Video" that night. The people from America's Most Wanted teamed up with the Baby Einstein folks and made this video.

I don't do product reviews on here (just cause I don't know how to go about getting all that free stuff) but I will tell you that if you have children between the ages of 4 and 10, go out and buy this video. It's silly and makes a scary subject easier to understand. It really teaches stranger safety. My son thinks that it's so funny that he asks to watch it all the time.

After role playing every possible scenario with a french fry and a green bean at the dinner table, I feel confident that my kiddo is ready to be out in the world and be safe. He knows no to give out our sacred address to "Don't knows" or to get in the car with a "Kinda know" and he is aware of who is in his "safe circle".

So, I can sigh a sigh of relief while still being vigilant. It's a spooky world out there. Keep your little ones safe!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

When I was a kid...

When my parents said it, I would roll my eyes incessantly. We would hear one of them say "When I was a kid..." and my brother and I would cut them off with "We know, the only thing you had to play with was a stick and a box. You could buy a Hamburger for a nickel and go to a Movie for 25 cents!" We really had a way of bursting their bubbles.

Well, now I'm the Mama, and I find myself telling my son about when I was a kid. Luckily, he finds it wildly entertaining at this stage and will ask questions like..."Mom, when you were a kid did people drive cars?' I'm not that old but I have found myself telling him some really hilarious facts about being a kid in the 70's.

Things like...

"When I was a kid, we didn't have a remote control. I had to sit on a pillow in front of the TV and actually turn a knob to flip the channels. My dad would make me sit there and be the human remote control. There was no such thing as cable yet so luckily I only had about 8 channels to have to flip through."

"When I was a kid we didn't have cell phones. If we were not at home and needed to talk to someone then we had to find a pay phone. A pay phone is a phone that anyone could use that was sometimes in something called a phone booth. You put a quarter in the phone and then you could use it for as long as you wanted. did spread germs."

"When I was a kid there was no such thing as Cartoon Network. If I wanted to watch cartoons, I had to wait until Saturday morning. We would wake up at 7 am and watch cartoons until noon. Saturday morning cartoons were the best!"

"When I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we needed to learn about a subject we had to go to the library or read and Encyclopedia. An Encyclopedia is a book that is filled with information about topics, kinda like Google but in book form."

"When I was a kid we didn't have DVD players that you could watch in the car. When you were riding in the car you would look out the window or play car games for fun. A car game is when everyone in the car agrees to look at the world around them and make up a game to play. Like Car Bingo or looking for the letters of the alphabet in street signs."

He thinks that these are fascinating facts. He just can't imagine that a world like the one I speak of ever existed.

Ah...the salad days!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Let the good times roll.

I am so happy today, I have a little hitch to my giddy up, if you will. It's all because my marvelous husband gave me the best present ever for my birthday. He gave me a super dooper shmooper (Oh God...I've started talking like my 4 year old) Epson scanner and installed Photoshop on my computer. That means it's going to be fun times over at my little Blog. I designed my new little Leigh vs Laundry header up there last night thanks to this awesome gift. Now, I can turn into scanning maniac and share amazing photos from my past with you.

Like this one...

Pretty hot ain't it? Can you believe the heights my bangs could reach? I would set my alarm 45 minutes early to make time to style them. As you can see, it was time well spent.

I digress...the point is that I am excited about the possibilities of this scanner. So get ready, things are about to get a little crazy around here!

*Please read post below for the winner of last week's Freashow Friday!

Winner: Dandy edition

We have a winner for Freak show Friday. There were so many really awesome captions this week but here are the top three in no particular ordere rules and I say it's OK.

Leigh vs Laundry
After this photo was taken Travis changed his name to "Sweet Trav".

"Travis passed on the traditional headshots
...preferring instead to go for the "I give good head" shots."

"When cherubs grow up. Not so cute anymore."

The winner is
(drumroll please)


"When cherubs grow up. Not so cute anymore."

UBERMOUTH is the most awesome
hilarious Blogger in all of Blogland.
Now hop on over and pat her on the back
and admire this award she just received
to put on her Blog in all it's glory.

Thanks to all who played along.
I love you all and your funny brains!
Please tune in this Friday for another episode of Freak show Fridays.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Freakshow Friday: Dandy Edition

It's time for another instalment of "Freak show Fridays" where I challenge my readers to write a caption or story for a photo taken from the website Awkward Family Photos. Here is this week's photo. This guy is a real dandy.

After this photo was taken Travis changed his name to "Sweet Trav".

I love this photograph and can't wait to see what y'all come up with. My best friend Erin will be the judge this week. As you can see, she takes her position as a judge very seriously!

The winner will receive this very prestigious award that I created to proudly display on their Blog forever. I'll also make a huge deal out of how awesome and funny you are and link back to your Bliggidy Blog, instant fame!

Come know you want that award!

Simply post your caption or story in my comments!
The winner will be announced on Monday.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I'm so cool.

The other day I was at the mall with my Mom and the boys. We decided to make a pit stop in the "Family Restroom" to powder our noses. As we walked down the tiled hallway towards the restroom, the bathroom door opened and low and behold, Santa Clause walked out. I blurted out as loud as I could "SANTA! IT'S SANTA!!!!" I was genuinely excited. I wasn't excited because I had my kids with me and it was an enchanting moment to see Santa walk out of the can. No, I was unexpectedly stoked to see the dude. Every single person in the hallway (including Santa) jumped and looked at me like I had just yelled "terrorist" at the top of my lungs.

Yeah...that seals the deal, I am so cool. I totally felt like Will Ferrell in the movie Elf.

It was as if a Christmas bug bit my ass or something.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Motherhood and milestones

It's amazing to me how there are times in motherhood where I coast a bit. The status quo is good. People are eating from every food group. No one is having nightmares. Everyone's clothes are just the right size and all is happy and normal in my home. Then, suddenly, things start to shift with my children. The baby rolls over and we all clap in celebration. My 4 year old may try a new food and we all jump for joy.

Over the last month or so, Griffin has taken a developmental leap. He's had growing pains and we've many discussions about the looming fate of death and all of the fears that manifest from that. He's had a bully on the playground torture him with taunts and we have had many talks about that as well. It amazes me the depth that my son has.

Yesterday we were playing ball together when he suddenly grew quiet and look sad. I asked him what was wrong and his response was so heartbreakingly beautiful that it floored me. He said "I'm sad because I will miss this when I'm an old man." His eyes welled up with tears and I just sat down and he crawled into my lap. It was all I could do not to cry with him. I just can't believe that a four year old would have that much insight. I feel the exact same way. I will miss all of this too. The struggles and the triumphs. I will miss the times when I scour the Internet to find just the right book to gently help him understand death. I will miss sitting on the couch with him and helping him understand his own emotions. I will miss playing cops and robbers with him in the front yard.

I can feel him changing by the minute. My sweet 4 year old is almost 5 and as he reaches these emotional milestones, I must change with him. I must let go a bit and give him space to be independent. I need to give him the tools to overcome things on his own. He needs to discover his own strengths. I will be there for him with a hug when he needs it. We will grow together. I told him that we need to enjoy the present because there will be so much for him to remember fondly when he is an old man. It's humbling when your child teaches you a lesson because I need to learn this too. The art of living for the moment,

and in the midst of all of this...

Look who's sitting up!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Movie review: 2012

Let me preface this movie review by informing you that I can't stand disaster movies. I get really freaked out while I watch them and switch into survival mode. Inevitably, I end up badgering my husband throughout the entire film informing him that we need to stockpile food, build an underground shelter, buy a plane, get a generator, teach the boys to never be the hero, and that there is no shame in running. This drives Roger crazy. I end up loudly whispering things like "We need cans of beans" or "If Griffin and Koen try to run off like that it is your job the throw them over your shoulder and force them to come with us, sock em' in the nose if you have too!"

I must have been desperate for adult time or a glutton for punishment because I somehow agreed to go see 2012 over the weekend. My husband loves disaster movies. The poor guy will stay up after I go to bed to watch the film Independence Day at least once every 6 weeks (at least I think that's what he's watching?) So, since I love my man, I found myself in a dark theater munching on popcorn and screaming my head off.

The movie was actually pretty entertaining. I cried 5 times because I'm a wimp and the target audience. At least I know my role.

John Cusack was like Lloyde Dobler on steroids. Except you will not see him doing this... will see him running and jumping and escaping death in unrealistic ways at least 10 times. I can't help it though, he'll always be Llloyd Dobler to me. In the end though, I would tell someone to go see this movie if they want to get their heart rate up. The special effects are amazing, the plot in implausible, and I'd say it was an afternoon not totally wasted.

Now excuse me while I go draft up or family emergency plan.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Winner: Goth Edition

We have a winner for Freak show Friday. There were so many really awesome captions this week but here are the top three in no particular order.

Tami G
{Starry Starry night} The mystery of van gogh's suicide revealed!

..and every night their mama cried herself to sleep.

The church directory was never the same.

The winner is
(drumroll please)


...and every night their mama cried herself to sleep.

is the most awesome hilarious dude in all of Blogland.
Now hop on over and pat him on the back
and admire this award he just received
to put on his Blog in all it's glory.

Thanks to all who played along.
I love you all and your funny brains!
Please tune in this Friday for another episode of Freak show Fridays.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Comedic Genius

Last night I accidentally watched the movie Annie in it's entirety. I hadn't seen it since I was a little girl and I was still bewitched by it. I got the chills when she arrived at Daddy Warbuck's house and all the maids danced around and she looked all wide eyed and cute. I mean, that was one adorable little redhead.

I think that the part that I enjoyed the most was Carol Burnett as Mrs. Hannigan. She was so funny in this role. I love the scene where she's loaded and singing about how much she hates little girls. There were so many nuances in the scene that I didn't pick up on as a child. She's flippin' hilarious. Don't take my word for it, check it out.
I think that she's the funniest after the 2 minute mark.

See what I mean? Genius.

I can't believe that I spent my Friday evening watching Annie
and now I'm spending my Saturday evening Blogging about it.

I really need to get out more.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Freak show Friday:Goth Edition

It's time for another instalment of "Freak show Fridays" where I challenge my readers to write a caption or story for a photo taken from the website Awkward Family Photos. Here is this week's photo. I am a little bit scared of this one.

If loving Goth is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Think that you can do better? Come on and give it a shot! My flippin' funny husband will be the judge this week. The winner will receive this very prestigious award that I created to proudly display on their Blog forever. I'll also make a huge deal out of how awesome and funny you are and link back to your Bliggidy Blog, instant fame!

Come know you want that award!

Simply post your caption or story in my comments!
The winner will be announced on Monday.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

A sad farewell

I have a problem...the kind of problem where I almost want to organize an intervention for myself. It's shameful and shocking what I allow myself to eat. I have so few vices left that I have managed to denounce guilt when it comes to indulging in food. My life is so restricted right now. Between a limited diet due to breastfeeding and the fact that it's just not cool to be drunk at noon when you are a mother, my life is a free for all when it comes to junk food.

I can't get away with it anymore. My baby is almost 7 months old and the "I just had a baby excuse" is played out. I don't have it in me to diet right now, I'm just so busy taking care of everyone else that the thought of counting points or reading labels makes me yearn for a padded room.

Instead, I am choosing to say goodbye to the most ridiculous foods that have made it into my diet over the last few months. I have no business eating these foods. I mean, who do I think I am, Rachel Zoe? No, I am a chubby mom living in Georgia. I am not a starlet living in LA whose ribs stick out. It's time to say goodbye to my favorite culinary vices.

Oh, how I love Pepperidge Farm Coconut Cake.
My grandmother always had a box in her fridge,
It reminds me of home and is my ultimate comfort food.
I don't think that it's a good idea
to eat an entire cake for lunch.
Yeah...that behaviour has got to stop!

This little addiction is the most shameful.
G and I enjoy making cup cakes together.
Baking is a great way to get Griffin just distracted just enough
to tell me all about his day at school.
Well...sometimes I black out
and when I wake up
I am standing over the sink eating icing
from the jar with a spoon
in the shadows of my kitchen.
It's a problem

We eat at Mcdonalds at least once a week.
I love to feed Griffin a Happy Meal
and then let him run around like a maniac in the Play area.
I always order the Big Mac combo.
Those days are over...goodbye special sauce!
I'm switching over the the Grilled Chicken sandwich.
We all know that there is no way I am going to order a salad!
I'm being realistic here.

This is the least harmful of all my current indulgences. just doesn't seem right for a breastfeeding mom
to drink 4 Caffeine Free Diet Dr. Pepper's a day.
I know that I'm sucking all of the calcium from my bones.
I feel it happening with each sip.
So...I'm no longer going to be a Pepper.
Water, yeah that's it, maybe I should consider drinking some water!

So there you have it. I've lamented each of these wonderful treats and I'm ready to move on. I am well on my way to be skinny biatch I want to be and becoming the hot mama that I almost am!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Nanny nanny boo boo

Remember last week when Griffin came down with a handful of neuroses? Well, I got to the bottom of it. Earlier this week my little scaredy cat and I had a very interesting conversation in the car. It went like this-

Me: "Yeah?"
G: "Do Moms ever sell their kids?"
Me: "Uh, no...where did you hear that?"
G: "An older girl on the playground told me that you were going to sell me!" (crying)
Me: "Honey...I would never sell you. That's just silly."

There were hugs and tears and assurances on my part that I am not in the market to sell any of my kids.

This opened the door to a family conversation later at the dinner table. My husband is a bad ass. I'll just go ahead and say it. He was the kid on the playground that beat the crap out of older kids because they were picking on his big brother. He can throw down and has a fierce instinct to protect his children. I always feel safe with my man around. I decided the moment that I knew that we were having a boy that I would let Roger handle any problems on the playground that our son may have. I'm a lover not a fighter.

Yet, as we both sat explaining to our sweet 4 year old the concept of a bully and how to handle it, I totally got into the spirit and we taught him some pretty classic comebacks. Things like...

"So funny I forgot to laugh!"

"See ya wouldn't wanna be ya!"

"That's so old the last time I heard that I fell of my dinosaur!"

"You're ugly and yo mama dresses you funny!"

After we role played with him a bit and had him giggling at these comebacks I could see his confidence returning. In the end though, we told him just to walk away from any mean kids. We told him that sometimes older kids think that they are cool and that making little kids cry makes them feel cooler. The best revenge is to not let them know that they made you sad. That way, they won't feel so cool. If that doesn't work then go tell the teacher and if that doesn't work you come and tell dad. We all know what happens if dad gets involved, some mean little girl will end up crying her eyeballs out on the monkey bars.

So now my son is starting to learn his life lessons. As a mom, I want to protect him from the nasty girls and mean boys of the world. We can't shelter him though, the sooner he learns how to handle himself on the playground the better. The more he learns to face and overcome his fears, the stronger he will get. If he is anything like my husband was, I think that I better prepare myself to have many visits to the principals office cause Griffin gave some kid a black eye.

The mean kids of the world better watch out!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I am a Theta Mom

I was tagged by Heather over at Theta Mom and Erin from The Mother Load to participate in the Theta Mom challenge. According to the lovely Heather, "Theta Moms, The True, Authentic Moms. [The-T-A] are authentic because we live authentic lives. Life isn’t perfect and neither are our kids."

I present to you five reasons why I am worthy of this title.

I suppose that my Theta Mom status started when I was pregnant with my first child. In my naivete I had always romanticized pregnancy. If I saw a woman with a big round belly, I thought that it was beautiful. To me it seemed like such a enviable state of being, to house life and feel a deep connection to womanhood. In reality, I had the worst morning sickness ever, heartburn, acid reflux, and an angry sciatica. With both of my pregnancies I gained a ton of weight. When I was pregnant with my second son the only thing that kept me from throwing up was eating a Chic-fil-a chicken biscuit every morning. I would drag my fat ass out of bed and order this delicious yet fattening breakfast come rain or shine. As I stuffed chicken into my face I realized that I did not feel beautiful. I felt fat and tired and a little bit scared of giving birth. This would be the first of many realizations about the reality of motherhood.

My oldest son Griffin gave me a run for my money when he reached toddler hood. He was one of those exuberant children that had a true lust for life. If he saw another child that he wanted to play with he would pounce on them. Literally, he would dive bomb into them, knock them over, sit on them, and then suck on their head. It was not spiteful or mean spirited but terrifying just the same. I became the mother that was in the sandbox, redirecting my sweet son to not sit on the nearest child. It was humbling and shaking sand out of my panties would be the first of many sacrifices that I would make for my scamp of a kid.

For a while, I fought with all my might to be a true western minded mama. I'm just not ever going to be. I am a co-sleeping, breastfeeding on demand, child wearing, rock em' to sleep, stay up all night snuggling, kind of mama. I am indulgent with hugs and use love and logic to discipline. I give my kid choices and get down on my knees when we communicate so that I am on his level. I don't spank or use fear tactics to parent my kids.

That being said, I will throw a kid in time out if he needs it. I'm not raising a brat over here. I use video games and Yo Gabba Gabba to entertain my kiddo if I need a break. I've been known to bribe my kid with candy. I've even let him have Skittles for breakfast. I let my kid watch Spongebob a bit too much. We stumble over toys and laundry because sometimes I just don't feel like cleaning. My first reaction when frustrated is to shout. I have to work hard everyday not to yell at my 4 year old. I get tired of hearing begging at Walmart and buy my son yet another Hot Wheels for no good reason other than I want to shop in peace. I am not perfect and sometimes I just take the easy route. I'm okay with this fact.

I could ramble on with example after example of my Theta Mom ways but instead I'll let you read them in past posts. Like how my house is covered in my son's artwork, my shaky adjustment to mothering two kids, how crazy my days can get, that I let my son run amok, and enable his addiction to video games.

So, as per the rules, I am tagging these awesome Bloggers to take the Theta Mom challenge.

It ain't easy being cheesy

Speaking from the Crib

The Crazy Baby Mama

Let's Have a Cocktail

Unruly Helpmeet

Team Boo

Is this thing on?
Are you sill there?
This was a long post.
Thanks for sticking around.

Monday, November 9, 2009

I'm the Birthday Girl!!!!

Today is my birthday!

Woo Hoo...I'm 35 years young today!
We have a little inside joke about birthdays
around here that I thought I'd let you in on.

When I was growing up my dad was a clown that performed at birthday parties. He once performed at a nursing home for a man that was turning 90. My dad described this sweet old man as sitting in a wheelchair and donning a Birthday boy crown. The performance was going well until the elderly man fell into a fit of jealousy that all of the party goers were paying attention to my dad instead of him.

As the story goes, he angrily wheeled himself to the front of the room and starting yelling at the top of his lungs "I'm the birthday boy, ignore that clown!!!" My dad tried to talk over him and finish the act quickly but the man just continued to wheel himself back and forth in front of the performance yelling obscenities.

He made such a scene that a nurse had to wheel the poor guy into the hallway to calm him down. My dad just continued his act (the show must go on) but could hear the angry old fart shouting through the door..."I'm the birthday boy, ignore that clown!!!" over and over and over and over. Now, every time I have a birthday I wake up in the morning and shout

"I'm the birthday girl, ignore that clown!"

*Please read the post below to find out the winner of "Freak show Friday"

Winner winner chicken dinner

We have a winner for the latest instalment of "Freak show Friday". This was a banner week for my little contest, 41 people came up with hilarious captions and I did not envy Erin for having to select a winner. Here are the top 3 in no particular order.

"What time is it?
Party time."


"Pick me! Pick me!
Sperm Donor #88625"

"Does this watch make me look gay?"

The winner is...

Candice from Life According to Candice

"Does this watch make me look gay?"

Candice is the funniest Blogger in all the land!
Now, before you get all offended, this is
a gay friendly Blog and
Candice was sure to follow up her comment with
"Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

Now hop on over and pat her on the back
and admire this lovely award she just received.

Thanks to all who played along. I love you all and your funny brains! Please tune in this Friday for another episode of Freak show Fridays.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Tis the season

The Christmas season is fast approaching and I thought that I would get a leg up on my shopping this year. I decided to turns to Etsy for all of my handmade gift needs. It really is amazing what people will create and attempt to sell. Here are my top 5 picks of crap I would not even buy for my worst enemy.

*Images found on regretsy my new favorite mean spirited guilty pleasure.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Freak show Friday

It's time for another instalment of "Freak show Fridays" where I challenge my readers to write a caption or story for a photo taken from the website Awkward Family Photos. Here is this week's photo. I think that this guy looks like quite the catch.

Mike was proud to display his chicken legs and Walmart watch.

I can admit that was a pretty weak attempt on my part. I hit my head yesterday while holding Griffin in my lap as he got a shot. That kid is scrappy. He almost kicked the nurse in the face with his cowboy boots and then jerked back and BAM...I hit my noggin on the wall behind me. Ouch! Anyway, enough about me and my goose egg, let's see if you can do better.

My best friend Erin will be the judge this week. For those of you out there that have yet to virtually meet this woman I present to you the best photo ever of my genius of a best friend.

I'll give you a moment to take it in.
She's pretty smart as you can see.

The winner will receive this very prestigious award that I created to proudly display on their Blog forever. I'll also make a huge deal out of how awesome and funny you are and link back to your Bliggidy Blog.

Come know you want that award!

Simply post your caption or story in my comments!
The winner will be announced on Monday.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Marsupial Mama

My baby was screaming and in the darkness, I stumbled over toys on the floor to get to him in his crib. I scooped him up and wiped his tears. We snuggled as he nursed and I lulled him back to sleep. "This feels right" I thought to myself as I looked at the clock. It was 4 am and I felt peaceful as I looked down at my sweet boy whose breath was heavy between whimpers. I'm a sucker.

Rewind to 12 hours earlier. I am sitting in the pediatrician's office for Koen's 6 month check up. "It's time to let him cry it out." our Dr. announced. Just like that, as if it was just part of what she says to a mother of a 6 month old. "His tummy shouldn't need any milk in the middle of the night anymore." she continued "Feed him at 9 pm then close the door and don't come back in until the morning. You'll have three hard nights and then he'll sleep through the night."

Uhhhh....I'm just not a hard ass mama. Not me, no, I'm more like a Koala. If I came equipped with a pouch, my baby would be nestled in there all of the time. To my credit, I did let him cry for a bit. It just didn't seem natural to me. Every instinct in my bones told me to go save my crying baby and pull him into bed with me (taking all SIDS precautions, of course!) We slept curled into one another until the sun came up.

We had a follow up visit a few days later with the pediatrician. Koen had been a constant snot factory. After a full check up, it turned out that he was suffering from a double ear infection. No wonder the sweet boy was crying out for me in the night. My intuition had been right on.

There are so many voices out there telling moms to detach from their babies and not answer their cries. I'm sure that it works for many families or it wouldn't be so popular. In my home though, my baby is swooped up and in my heart, it just feels natural to lavish my baby with as much love as possible. He can complain about it on a therapist's couch one day if he needs to.

For now, I'm learning to trust me Marsupial ways.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Scaredy Cat

Things have a been a bit intense over at our house. Griffin has been
dealing with some new found fears over here and last night, he decided to go ahead and turn them into full blown phobias. Here are his latest terrors.

Fear of the dark
My poor son has gone wonky when the sun goes down.
We have gathered almost every lamp in the house
and placed them
lovingly in his room.
He even dodges shadow
s beneath furniture
and stares with horror out th
e window when darkness falls.
Daylight Savings
Time is his enemy.

Fear of Halloween
He has had it with all of the Halloween hullabaloo.
He is terrorized by the 50% off aisle
of masks and spider webs at any store.
All of our Halloween decorations
had to put in a box and then later
hidden in the trunk of my car.
He could not stand the thought
of a glittery pumpkin living in the closet.

This is a very rare phobia that has him paralyzed in fear.
He is afraid of Egypt, really his fear now extends
to the entire continent of Africa.
I blame this on a kid in his class.
For the month of September, he studied Egypt at school.
Some kid got a hold of him on the playground and
told him about the mummification process.
Now, he is afraid of his brain being pulled out of his nose.
He is afraid of the Pyramids, King Tutt masks, The Sphinx,
and the idea of any form of travel to Egypt.
The kid is ruined.

Fear of Pilgrims
This phobia does not exist.
I think that he just threw this one in
last night for dramatic effect.
In an attempt to comfort him yesterday,
I told him that Halloween was over and
now it was all about Thanksgiving.
The cartoon Arthur happened to be playing
and they were dressed as Pilgrims.
Griffin hid behind the couch and
very passionately announced that he was scared of them too.

All that I can do is be there for him with
a listening ear and a comforting hug.
I must try my hardest not to make fun of his fears.
You gotta admit, the Pilgrim one is a hard pill to swallow.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Life Lessons

I'm all about learning from my mistakes. Like last week, when I screamed at Griffin because I thought that a horse was about to kick him in the face. Yes, I learned a valuable lesson about not passing my fears onto my children.

The important part of learning from one's mistakes is to rebound quickly. Admit that you are a whack job, change the whack job behavior, and then let it go.

It got me thinking of the myriad of life lessons that I have learned over the years. A girl like me has had plenty of opportunities to overcome my whack-job-ness. One experience in particular came to mind. I learned a big lesson and I learned it the hard way.

The year was 1985 and it was a hot summer day in Texas. My mother had purchased special movie theatre tickets from our school for a summer film program. Every Wednesday morning we would go to the movies. It was awesome. One set of tickets were for a mystery movie.

The suspense was killing me. I wanted to know what movie would be playing so I sauntered up to the teenager that worked behind the ticket window and casually asked her "What movie is playing today?" She took the bait and said "The Goonies."

My 11 year old heart began to race. The Goonies was not coming out until the end of summer. I was so thrilled to know the mystery movie that I skipped all over the theatre and told every person that I saw that the secret movie of the day was The Goonies. It was my personal mission to inform every person there. I told some teenage boy with acne while he played Pac Man in the lobby. I told a little kid while we were in line for the bathroom. I ran over to a group of girls waiting in line for popcorn and told them. I just loved the thrill of being the first to tell everyone and felt so cool as I fluttered around spreading the news. I announced it to everyone on my row and spread the news down a few rows in front of me. I was on top of the world.

I told people walking down the aisle and I told everyone as they filed into their seats. Finally, the lights dimmed and you could feel the excitement in the air. One little kid actually yelled out at the top of their lungs..."The Goonies!" as the film began to show on the screen. Well, guess what? The secret film was not Goonies. It was...

That's right, The mother flippin' Karate Kid was the mystery movie of the day. That movie had come out the summer before and although we all know it's a great movie ("Sweep the leg Johnny!") it was not new and it was defiantly not The Goonies. People started to boo, a few kids started crying, and all of the people within a few seats of me looked over at me like I was Satan.

I was mortified. I sat throughout the entire movie dreading the walk of shame through the lobby of the theatre. As we exited the theatre, my worst nightmares were actualized. Children pointed at me and scowled. A mom said "Is the the girl that told you?" and gave me the stink eye. Kids were in tears near the concession stand. It was horrible.

When we got in the car my mother handled it in such a loving way. As I slumped down in my seat and hid my face in my hands as to avoid eye contact with any movie goers leaving the parking lot, my mother looked at me in the rear view mirror, smiled, and said

"Well, I guess that you learned not to go around telling everyone everything you know."

That would forever be known as life lesson # 1 and man, it was an important one.