Thursday, June 19, 2008

Me vs. Laundry

I'm excited to start a Blog and I'm shocked that it took me this long to jump on my computer and muse. I am a journal writer by nature but since becoming a mom I find it to be more and more challenging to steal moments to actually write words down. Griffin loves to disrupt any epiphanies that I try to scribble in my journal. As I sit with pen in hand, poised to write my deepest darkest secrets, he stands behind me and plays with my hair while watching a cartoon. He leans on me and smacks me with his knees trying to get my attention. It's quite a challenge to have cathartic moments with a 3 year old on top of you. That's motherhood though...trying to grab a moment to grow without neglecting your little one.

I am finally accepting that I am a horrible housewife. the laundry is always stacked up, the house is littered with toys. Every single room is messy. But my child, who I tend to focus my energies is always clean and seems to be well balanced. I am actually fascinated that I'm starting to care about the condition of my house. For the moment I am resigned to pick up the same toys over and over. I am the master of "fake clean". I can have everything stuffed under the couch and all the dirty dishes tossed into the oven in 5 minutes. Whenever I really clean the house Griffin asks me "Who's coming over?" It's shameful.

Sometimes I get insecure that I am not living up to the domestic goddess that I should be. I asked Roger once when we were in South Georgia on a hunting excursion if he wanted me to bake a bundt cake and throw together a big country breakfast for him and his dad and fellow hunters. This one man's wife was always sending muffins and various baked treats with him to the cabin. I just knew that those men were pulling up hungry from hunting all morning to find me, outside with Griffin, throwing rocks in the pond, with nary a pot of coffee waiting for them in the kitchen. I mean Roger must have known when he married me what he was signing up for. So when I told him that I was sorry that they had to cook their own breakfast that morning Roger just smiled and said "When I married you I got roller coasters and glitter."

Well, hang on Roger, cause it's gonna be a wild ride!

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